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From Twitter to a BlogHer post asking, “How do you teach your kids about stranger danger?” and this poured out of me. All while I sat in the hall outside my 4YO’s room in an effort to clarify to him that he doesn’t “need” my help to fall asleep. : /
My kids are 2 and 4. We talk about the importance of staying close. Before we cross streets, we hold hands, look both ways and I ask, “Is there any traffic”. They look and must reply “no traffic” before we move. I use every opportunity to remind them to use their own senses, to know the rules and to use judgement.
This relates to the “stranger danger topic” as well. Again, we talk about the importance of staying close. This has been repeated so many times that they truly understand that we MUST be able to see each-other when we’re in public places. If my 4YO asks, “Why?” then I repeat my mantra. I kneel down in front of him, look into his eyes and tell him that if we lost each other, it would make our hearts hurt. Once in a while, he’ll press on with the questioning. In these instances, I have explained to him that some people do mean things because they don’t have love in their hearts.
In stores, I refer to employees as helpers. Once in a while we’ll talk through a “what if you couldn’t find me, who would you ask to help you” scenario. When we encounter a uniformed officer, we make introductions with these “helpers” as possible.
I try to make answers brief. If a child continues with questions, I believe in continuing with answers. Keep it short so as to not overwhelm. Let children play lawyer while you stick to the facts as a witness of your own life experience and awareness.
At bath time, I hand each child a wash cloth and ask them to wash their privates. I hope that this sets a base understanding that they’re allowed personal boundaries.
Help them to explore and grow. Kids may dismiss boogie man scare tactics as unrealistic. Life is a conversation. Before the last book of each evening, I ask, “Is there anything you need to talk about?” This helps them to purge the day. I’m hoping that it opens communication channels that will last into and through the teenage years.
Something good. Something important will come of this time.
Some good things have already come. Stress can either drive a family apart make it huddle together.
1) I’m learning to speak up when I need time to get something done.
2) #1’s vocabulary and compassion are staggering. Weekly library trips and helping with projects seem to offer enough adventure for him.
3) #2 sings joyfully from the time she wakes until bed time and has developed a fondness for books.
4) The love of my life is making progress towards his goal of earning a degree.
5) The house is coming along.
6) I’ve seen the kids something like 900 hours more than I would have if I’d been working full time.
7) We’re learning to allow the kids some independence (which also helps with 1–6).
In an ordinary market, I’m highly-employable. This all has to take a turn and when it does I’m miles ahead of most of my competition. There will be a hiring surge as business picks up. It’s taken time — but I’ve become willing to try temporary-to-permanent options in order to prove my value to people who don’t already know my character, dedication and talent.
Yes, this is a rather large and concerning bump in the road. It will need to be mended — and soon. But we’re doing the best we can with what we’ve got. We’re warm. We’re nourished. We’re skilled workers. The kids are usually happy.
I recently helped with an event for families in need. In thanks, the coordinator handed me a $100 grocery gift card. Things like this keep happening. Support trickles in from the universe in the form of advise, reminders of what’s truly important, funding and loving concern.
It’s not our turn for another kick. We’ll find our way.
I’d been mingling with other job seekers today when it the scritching and scratching began. I guess a squirrel had noticed the warm breeze escaping from between our new, poorly-installed (thank you sucky construction company) front door and the frame. So excited was this squirrel, that it aggressively tried to squeeze it’s bulked-up self through the crack.
I was painting when #1 explained to me the device he’d invented. An extra-large rubberband triangulates between the lever handle and lock. A miniature Clifford dog and a cow-jumping-over-the-moon mirror are woven into this. #1 say’s it’s to keep the squirrels out. The whole story came to life when the love of my life returned home to tell the tale. He laughed when I explained the squirrel trap.
Three nights this past week brought me five continuous hours of sleep. My body’s so confused. I might actually catch up on the sleep lost since 2001.
Following kids with colds and the love of my life having the flu, I found myself completely spent. #2 was waking every 1.5 to 2 hours thanks to some airflow problems in her nose. One morning, I finally broke. I knew that I couldn’t go to her with any reasonable level of compassion so I asked her daddy to rescue her. She SCREAMED. This was not what she expected. They coped. I listened, relaxed and realized I’d need to locate ear plugs in order to maximize the experience.
So, now she gets me once. The love of my life helps her beyond this. What’s even cooler? For the most part, she’s decided that she only wants to get up once. But wait, there’s more. Last night, she went to bed at 9:30 p.m., woke at 6:00 a.m., passed out at 7:45 a.m. after watching me page through National Geographic magazines and then woke at 10:04 a.m. This afternoon, she slept in the car for more than a half hour.
I know, I know. Anyone experienced in parenting knows that these days of freakish sleep are infrequent and sporadic. She’ll sprout another two inches and then reduce rest hours. But I’ll take it.
Seriously, going from full-time work plus school to miscarriages to full-on motherhood to food allergies to near miscarriage to sucky contractors and job loss. I’m not the whiny type, but I was getting close. Sleep is welcome. Sleep is healing. More, please.
Sweet dreams, I’ve missed you so.
The kids have been sick since a couple days following their H1N1 shots. I expect they picked up something in the lobby. That just isn’t fair. Looks like we might miss the festivities in the interest of keeping extended family well.
Bummer. Alas, we have veggie burgers here too.
No painter Friday or today. Well, at least we’ve gained the paint for a do-it-ourselves spring.
Deep in thought while eating a chicken strip, #1 said, “When I was a baby, I was inside your tummy.”
I confirmed this and told him that I’d loved that time.
He added, “Yeah, and I gave you hugs from the inside.”
With a big smile, I said, “Yes, yes you did.”
A recent jail release made one of the subcontracted painters available to return to our project. There may be something to the feng shui belief that improvements to your front entrance can lead to career improvements. The barrel arch and railings were in progress when I was called for a same-day interview. Later, in the same week, I received another interview request. Certainly, I take some responsibility as well. Hard work, appropriate targeting, and networking also played into this, of course. Still, It might be a good idea for us to improve our home office (wealth).
I’m getting out more. Our family cleared most of the leaves from our yard today. The love of my life did ALL of the raking. The rest of us helped to load and stomp tarps full of leaves into the trailer.
Last night, I took the stage for an improvisational slide presentation in front of a bar full of potential employers. During a food slide, I got stuck in the realization that I hadn’t eaten dinner. Other than that, it was good fun. I made a few contacts and learned of a weekly creative workspace that I’m very excited about.
After more than a month of not returning our calls — the contractor sent a new painter to our doorstep, without warning, on Monday, October 26. If he’d been a cartoon, he would have had a puffed-out chest, untied shoes, and a backwards painting cap with racing stripes.
He criticized the accent color while tucking his head and raising his arms to the sides and said, “I’m just calling it how I see it.” When I mentioned concern about the weather, he assured me that our high-quality paint could be safely applied at temperatures as low as 35 degrees (cans say 50 degrees). He pointed to a 80’s-looking sports car that only a football player would drive and said, “Hey, I know what I’m doing, I painted that myself.”
He seemed confused by my direction about the colors. So to make his quote a little easier, I clarified that the unpainted parts needed to be painted (apparently not obvious to him) and to not touch our house without specific permission from us (which will never happen).
The ladders are still cabled to our tree.
drembasoup 