From Twitter to a BlogHer post asking, “How do you teach your kids about stranger danger?” and this poured out of me. All while I sat in the hall outside my 4YO’s room in an effort to clarify to him that he doesn’t “need” my help to fall asleep. : /

My kids are 2 and 4. We talk about the importance of staying close. Before we cross streets, we hold hands, look both ways and I ask, “Is there any traffic”. They look and must reply “no traffic” before we move. I use every opportunity to remind them to use their own senses, to know the rules and to use judgement.

This relates to the “stranger danger topic” as well. Again, we talk about the importance of staying close. This has been repeated so many times that they truly understand that we MUST be able to see each-other when we’re in public places. If my 4YO asks, “Why?” then I repeat my mantra. I kneel down in front of him, look into his eyes and tell him that if we lost each other, it would make our hearts hurt. Once in a while, he’ll press on with the questioning. In these instances, I have explained to him that some people do mean things because they don’t have love in their hearts.

In stores, I refer to employees as helpers. Once in a while we’ll talk through a “what if you couldn’t find me, who would you ask to help you” scenario. When we encounter a uniformed officer, we make introductions with these “helpers” as possible.

I try to make answers brief. If a child continues with questions, I believe in continuing with answers. Keep it short so as to not overwhelm. Let children play lawyer while you stick to the facts as a witness of your own life experience and awareness.

At bath time, I hand each child a wash cloth and ask them to wash their privates. I hope that this sets a base understanding that they’re allowed personal boundaries.

Help them to explore and grow. Kids may dismiss boogie man scare tactics as unrealistic. Life is a conversation. Before the last book of each evening, I ask, “Is there anything you need to talk about?” This helps them to purge the day. I’m hoping that it opens communication channels that will last into and through the teenage years.
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